Gender Disappointment Isn’t Real

When I found out I were pregnant first thing i did was join baby groups. When it got to the 20 week period for us all quite a few of the girl’s experienced gender disappointment.

Because I’d never heard of this phrase before I didn’t know it was it was an actual thing. If I’m honest I saw it as extremely selfish at the time, like a baby is a blessing no matter the gender!

My opinion on that has now completely changed, back then because I have never experienced it and it was all new to me I was extremely ignorant about it being an actual situation people face quite regular in pregnancy, its just a huge taboo subject.

I still think that every baby is a blessing regardless of the gender, but other mums don’t think the same way but it also doesn’t mean they love their child any less if its not the gender they’d hoped for.

I’ve done a lot of research and spoken to mums who have experienced this and its opened my eyes a lot.

Gender disappointment is hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it first hand, I still after hearing stories find it mind blowing how someone can feel this way but i totally understand it at the same time.

What I gather, is most parents have this perfect imagine and dream of bringing up a little girl, to dress in lovely dresses or a son who can play sports etc. For that reality to be crushed at the 20 week scan/early gender scans or birth even!. For others gender disappointment may happen for having all of the same sex and hoping for the opposite to complete the family.

Whatever the reason within the family, its pretty serious and can come hand in hand with postnatal depression. It shouldn’t be a taboo subject and no one should look down at these women (and men) who experience this.

I think these are some of the worst things you can say to someone experienced/ing this;

• ” oh dear, when will you try for a girl/boy?”

• ” You know gender is just a concept does it really matter what the babys parts are?!”

• ” You can always try for another baby

• “Get over it, you’ve got a healthy baby!”

So tell me, did you experience gender disappointment when you found out the gender of your baby? If so what was your expeierence?

Sadie x

11 Replies to “Gender Disappointment Isn’t Real”

  1. I have experienced gender disappointment. My fiance and I both wanted to have boys when I was pregnant but we ended up with two beautiful baby girls. But the disappointment lasted nothing but a minute. We laughed and started planning on what to do for the nursery and all of that. Never did it make us any less excited about having our babies.Though we hoped for boys both pregnancies it wasn’t a big deal to us because we plan on having more kids and there are ways to increase the changes of having a boy. Thank you for this post because it is super important. You have no idea how many videos I’ve seen of people throwing fits at their gender reveals. But they will come around and love their baby regardless.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have not experienced this, but I understand how it could happen. I have had friends who’s husbands were very unsupportive because they also experienced gender disappointment. A baby is a complete gift. It can be so difficult not to make a beautiful fantasy in your head as a pregnant mom. I was absolutely convinced that I was having a girl when I was pregnant. If she would have ended up being a he, I would have been disappointed

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I very nearly got fooled by the title!
    I agree with this we shouldn’t be judged for it. I myself experienced gender disappointment and its embarrassing. I so badly wanted and thought I was having a boy, soon as I heard the word girl I cried. I cried for weeks.
    But now she’s here its done but I do often wonder what if sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

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