When I found out I were pregnant first thing i did was join baby groups. When it got to the 20 week period for us all quite a few of the girl’s experienced gender disappointment.
Because I’d never heard of this phrase before I didn’t know it was it was an actual thing. If I’m honest I saw it as extremely selfish at the time, like a baby is a blessing no matter the gender!
My opinion on that has now completely changed, back then because I have never experienced it and it was all new to me I was extremely ignorant about it being an actual situation people face quite regular in pregnancy, its just a huge taboo subject.
I still think that every baby is a blessing regardless of the gender, but other mums don’t think the same way but it also doesn’t mean they love their child any less if its not the gender they’d hoped for.
I’ve done a lot of research and spoken to mums who have experienced this and its opened my eyes a lot.
Gender disappointment is hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it first hand, I still after hearing stories find it mind blowing how someone can feel this way but i totally understand it at the same time.
What I gather, is most parents have this perfect imagine and dream of bringing up a little girl, to dress in lovely dresses or a son who can play sports etc. For that reality to be crushed at the 20 week scan/early gender scans or birth even!. For others gender disappointment may happen for having all of the same sex and hoping for the opposite to complete the family.
Whatever the reason within the family, its pretty serious and can come hand in hand with postnatal depression. It shouldn’t be a taboo subject and no one should look down at these women (and men) who experience this.
I think these are some of the worst things you can say to someone experienced/ing this;
• ” oh dear, when will you try for a girl/boy?”
• ” You know gender is just a concept does it really matter what the babys parts are?!”
• ” You can always try for another baby ”
• “Get over it, you’ve got a healthy baby!”
So tell me, did you experience gender disappointment when you found out the gender of your baby? If so what was your expeierence?
– Sadie x