Do you ever feel like you’re out of place?
Sometimes when scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and seeing your friends meeting up without you or other mothers in their tribes having playdates and coffees together. I feel like I’m missing out.
People warned me that once you become a mum you realise who your true friends are which is 100% true, however, the ones I knew were true have stuck around and still support me even if I barely see them. But what no one warned me about was how isolated you can feel in a room full of people. Socialising, in general, is not a massive issue for me but I feel so guilty that I have no one with a baby a similar age to Logan to do things with, which sucks massively.
I admit that I’m terrible at socializing as I’m a pretty anxious person but recently I’ve sucked it up and been the one to try and make the first move to meet new people or message someone if they want to make plans to meet up. Them messages leading to false hope with plans that never happen or full on rejection, I mean it’s quite funny really because the people who have rejected are people who are wanting friends with kids too… But hey ho, an act of kindness is never wasted.
Its one thing feeling like you don’t fit in and not good enough to be a part of these ‘tribes’ but it hurts more knowing that Logan is missing out on such an important life skill.
And if that’s not the only issue it’s experiencing loneliness in other ways such as being woken up in the middle of the night to your other half snoring away and your friends not being online to have a quick chat to pass the time whilst you feed your baby. It can feel like you’re the only person in the world who’s awake.
This horrible feeling mixed with not even recognising yourself anymore, or feeling good enough for friend’s and your other half included and the only daily conversations you have are in baby talk, has to be the worst part of motherhood and I wish more people spoke about it. Even in my darkest hours of feeling out of place and thinking that Logan is going to feel the same when he’s old enough to understand, I know that I’m not the only one feeling like this.
I also know that even if this is the worst part of motherhood right now it will (hopefully) pass. Motherhood is rewarding in such weird and wonderful ways and the proudest days with your baby makes up for the bad days.
Maybe this is the small part we have to pay to bring up another human being, but it shouldn’t have to be like that.
If you know someone who’s reaching out to meet up or in need of an adult conversation once in a while, message them. You don’t know how much positivity you can bring to their day.
What has been the worst part of motherhood for you? And have you felt cut off from the world?
– Sadie x
**Dont usually do this but a little shout out to Stacey, who’s one my best friends who no matter what always makes time for me, she also edits these blogs as my grammar is actually really shocking! She’s started up her own blog with enjoyment of helping out with mine and it’d be great if you go check it out. If you love lifestyle and the odd rant on stuff or a student this blog is for you!