10 Questions Women Ask Google When Pregnant

Pregnancy, it seems so different to everyone yet most of us seem to ask to ask the same questions. Some pretty silly, some others quite honestly disgusting. Who do we turn too to help with our questions?Good old Dr.Google. I blame baby brain for our curiosity.

To save you some time I’m going to share 10 questions everyone searches, I know I’ve done a good few of these myself especially with my first pregnancy.

‘Is this baby bump shape normal?’

Yes, yes it is because with pregnancy there is no such thing as normal. Womb shape, weight and babies positioning can change how your bump appears. Especially the baby, yeah, they can make some pretty weird shapes with your tummy that you didn’t think were possible. It’s creepy but fascinating.

‘Why do I smell so bad? Is pregnancy meant to have a smell?’

Hormones hun, hormones. If you don’t smell sweaty you smell musky. Doesn’t help that your nose is extra sensitive to smells.

Will I poo during Labour? Can this be avoided?’

Nope, sorry. Not every woman will poo during labour but its common and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Good news is your midwife won’t tell you but honestly when squeezing your baby out shitting with an audience is the last thing on your mind and 100% nothing to be embarrassed about. No such thing as dignity when you enter that labour room!

How do I shave with this big thing in the way? My midwife will be horrified to see how hairy I am!

Your midwife won’t care, they see a lot of vaginas daily, all kinds smooth or hairy. Think the last thing on their mind is how your lady garden looks.

Book yourself in for a wax…and a massage whilst your at it why not treat yourself! Or if you’re not for the wax life get a volunteer, if you haven’t got one well… Then wing it and hope for the best.

What does a mucus plug look like?’

Please don’t Google this. It’s disgusting. You’ll most likely know when you’ve passed it. It’s jelly-like, with blood and looks like a huge ball of snot. Sounds nice right?

‘How long will it be until my baby arrives after you lose your plug?’

2 minutes 54 seconds. No, there’s no answer to this question. You can lose your plug at any time during pregnancy it doesn’t give you an idea of when your baby will make an appearance. It can be weeks, can be days or a few hours. Who knows.

‘Does pregnancy cause haemorrhoids?’

Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for. Acne, saggy boobs, moodiness… Everything and anything really. Just blame pregnancy.

‘Will I know when my waters have broke? What does it look like?’

Most cases yes, rare cases no as they may be leaking. Whatever you do don’t smell your underwear, just in case you’ve pissed yourself.

‘Why isn’t the baby here yet, How can I get it out

Baby isn’t here because baby isn’t ready, go ahead and try all the old wives tales you want to encourage their exit. If anything your more likely to benefit yourself in labour… Or give yourself diarrhoea or achy nipples but yeah its worth a shot.

Or you can just sleep, sleep is good. You soon forget what sleep is when the baby is here.

‘Is labour painful?’

Just you wait and see. It’s not pleasant that’s for sure. Unless you enjoy having the sensation of something blowtorching your genitals and feeling like you’re needing a big poo all at the same time then cool.

Have you asked any of these questions when pregnant? Feel free to share your funny searches below!
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3 Replies to “10 Questions Women Ask Google When Pregnant”

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