I feel like we all have silly fears when pregnant, well that’s what I’m telling myself anyway. I’m pretty sure if you’re a mother of multiples reading this you’re 100% rolling your eyes and face palming so hard at the blog title!
With my first born I had silly fears, but I guess that’s expected when you’re about to become a first time mum. You worry about everything that’s not necessary to worry about. With Logan my fear was that I wouldn’t be able to care for him, I wouldn’t be ready for his arrival even though I already had such a strong bond with this little human that I hadn’t met yet, I was still so scared of babies. I wouldn’t interact or even hold a baby before having Logan it scared the life out of me. I thought the fear would stick and I’d be useless at caring for a child who needed me.
Roll on to now and I nearly have a one-year-old and I’ve never felt love like it. We have such a strong bond. I’ve taken to motherhood really well, not to blow my own trumpet or anything! That fear I had of holding and caring for him soon went and it all came naturally.
Now I’m pregnant again, don’t get me wrong this baby is very much planned and wanted and I’m sure I will fall in love with him or her once they’re born.
Right now, I’m struggling to bond with this baby like I did Logan, I don’t know if that’s because I’m super distracted or if I’m not really feeling the same joy with this pregnancy like I did with Logan. People will ask me how far I am and half the time I don’t know, they’ll also ask how the pregnancy is going and quite honestly most of the time I really don’t want to talk about it because it’s simply not exciting and I also have no clue if the baby is okay realistically. Especially with the thought in the back of my mind still hovering there, telling me that something is wrong.
I don’t think it helps that this pregnancy is so different to Logan, don’t get me wrong I have it easy compared to other expectant mums but these pains and mood swings and generally feeling up and down like a rollercoaster is really killing the joy out of this pregnancy and I now totally get why some women hate being pregnant.
I know a lot of mothers fear that they won’t love their second child like they do their firstborn, in fact one of my favourite vloggers Louise Pentland admitted to feeling the same way recently. Which was quite warming to read that I’m not the only one feeling this way. A few other mums have all said the same thing saying ‘your love doesn’t half it doubles!’ It’s hard to imagine right now but I’m sure these people will be right, just my silly pregnancy hormones are making me worry for nothing!
I’m sure after the baby is born I will revisit this post and update you all and probably laugh at how ridiculous I am too! But for now I’m giving you updates on real feelings no matter how silly pregnancy makes me.
So over too you mamas with 2 or more children… Did you feel the same?
If you’ve only got the one child what did you fear during pregnancy?